


Sleeping Draughts

by Inkwillstain



Series: Wolfstar Oneshots [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blood and Gore, Childhood Trauma, Hurt Remus Lupin, Mild Gore, Minor Character Death, Nightmares, POV Remus Lupin, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Trauma, Werewolf Remus Lupin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:40:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23341843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkwillstain/pseuds/Inkwillstain
Summary: Remus gets thrown back to a time he would rather not remember.
Relationships: Hope Lupin & Remus Lupin, Lyall Lupin & Remus Lupin, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin
Series: Wolfstar Oneshots [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1576063
Kudos: 15





	Sleeping Draughts

Remus stood on the edge of the pier, shaking. His eyes darted down to his legs and feet, both pale with blue veins running down. He didn’t think he’d ever been this cold before. It clutched at his skin and told him to run, run and never stop. But he couldn’t. Far below him lay his Sirius, teeth chattering and eyes open, but dying nonetheless. He steeled himself. Told himself he could do it for the umpteenth time. Scolded himself when he didn’t. If only James was here, or Peter. Or anyone else, someone who wasn’t a coward. Scarlet and gold flashed across his mind, the house cup they had won last year, the common room, decked out with people cheering, for him and for his best mates. 

He could do this, for Sirius. Remus jumped. 

The icy water hit him with the ferocity of a lion denied food. Bubbles rose against his skin, and he kicked up, breaking the surface of the inky black lake to cough. He thrashed around, desperately searching for a pale face bobbing on the surface, surrounded by dark hair. His heart plummeted, Sirius was nowhere to be seen. Remus stilled, all the fight leaving his body. 

What now? Swim to shore and forget that any of this happened? Remus felt sick at the thought, he had to keep trying. He took the deepest breath that his ragged lungs would allow and dove beneath the surface. 

Slowly the blur left his eyes and through the gloom a different world emerged. Sunken houses surrounded by a haze of green algae, and trees rustling in the current. Remus pushed down towards them. Perhaps Sirius was with the merfolk? He didn’t question that he didn’t need to breathe anymore. 

Remus’ feet hit the ground, and he was walking along a path, lined with the cottages that had appeared from the murky depths. Some had thatch roofs and others were shingled, but even as different as they were, each one had a sense of familiarity. 

Remus thought absentmindedly that this must be in the Cotswold Valley, where he had spent his childhood. Everything was hazy, a little like his memories. The road faded in and out of focus, detailed in some parts and hard to see in others. He could remember sitting on that bench right there, happily sucking gobstoppers with his Mum. Could remember running through these streets on the weekend, laughing as his friends chased him, there was so much to remember and he wanted to stop, to inspect every brick for forgotten memories but his legs carried him on, past the general store and through the cobblestone paths until he stood before his home. 

A mint green door and rough reddish bricks, roses curving over the white picket fence and smoke billowing from the chimney; it was all exactly the way he remembered it. As Remus stood and drank in the scene, peels of laughter echoed out through the open windows, followed by a smell that started an ache deep in his chest. 

Remus started up the steps and silently opened the door. He kicked off his shoes and walked into the sitting room, a slight smile on his lips. Lyall Lupin was sitting in his usual seat, mug of coffee by his side and newspaper held a foot from his face by wrinkly brown hands. A young boy with sandy hair sat on the floor, surrounded completely by toy cars and trains, giggling to himself. A clatter from the kitchen told Remus that Hope Lupin was preparing supper. It was the most domestic you could get, but something felt wrong; a sinister presence hung in the air, yet no one except Remus seemed to notice it. 

Dismissing his worry, Remus sat back, happy to watch the evening unfold before him. Hope was coming down the hall towards them now, honey hair flowing elegantly around her, and a birthday cake held aloft. Lyall put down his newspaper as she came in, and joined her in singing Happy Birthday. Remus smiled as the little boy squealed and jumped up, spilling toys from his lap. Both Lyall and Hope fondly watched their son run in circles around the room, until he finally bumped into Hope’s legs. 

Remus felt content beyond words, hearing his parent’s voices again, and seeing the love in their eyes gave him a pleasant if somewhat painful tug in his chest. Hope was reaching down to help her son cut the cake now, and it was all so gentle, the way she cupped his tiny hand in hers, the smile she shot at Lyall over her shoulder. Almost too gentle for the way the air seemed to press in on Remus’ throat.

He continued to watch though, the little boy had smeared chocolate all over his tiny chin, and Remus wished he could remember what it felt like to be that carefree. This memory must have been before the incident. Remus felt like a thousand spiders were running through his veins and someone had sucked the air from his lungs. The incident, this was his fifth birthday. He was about to watch-

Glass shattered against his back and landed in the fire, the cake, on his mother and father and even on the little boy. Blood started to leak from his family’s skin, slowly at first, and then faster. Remus watched it drip onto the carpet in horror, wondering why his parents were moving so slowly, why they didn’t notice the blood on their son’s little hands as he grabbed at Hope’s arm. In horror, Remus turned to face the man who he had hated from this night on. 

Fenrir Greyback. He stood taller than anyone in the room, muscular and hairy, absolutely reeking of piss and blood and something dead. Remus gagged and turned back to see the little boy shaking and crying under the coffee table, his mother shielding him from view and his father pulling out his wand. He was too late. Greyback was upon him, tearing skin from flesh with disgusting yellowed teeth, and making the most horrendous noises. Remus stood rooted to the spot, knowing that even if this wasn’t a dream he wouldn’t be able to do anything. Fear held him even now. 

Lyall Lupin fell to the floor with a terrible thud, and Hope screamed. Remus choked, then vomited. He didn’t want to watch, he knew what happened next. This night was a blur, his brain had shut it out, but he would never be able to forget the way Hope launched herself at Greyback, screaming and punching at him, and Greyback smiling. Remus watched it now and felt his resolve deepen. He would find this man- no beast, and kill him. He would make him pay for the way he took Hope’s neck and twisted it once. She fell to the floor beside her husband. 

The little boy had gone quiet by now, petrified. Remus watched Greyback circle the table, and felt as though he would be sick again at the eagerness in Greyback’s voice and the way he smiled when he talked.

“Oh Remus,” Greyback dragged his name out, and inched his circling closer to the coffee table. 

“Do you know that I’m here for you, little boy? Has your daddy explained what he does at the ministry?” Greyback’s voice held a hint of a snarl now and he stopped pacing, standing right in front of the coffee table. 

Remus could remember that too, watching the feet before him flex as Greyback squatted. Staring at the hand which snuck under to grab him and drag him out. He had only started screaming then. He kicked and flailed at Greyback, but it was like a waterlogged ant struggling in a swimming pool. Pointless. 

Remus didn’t want to be here anymore, he didn’t want to watch what came next because he couldn’t remember it, and what he couldn’t remember was better left unseen. He willed himself to leave the house, to explore somewhere else until he woke up, but he couldn’t. He watched in dawning horror as Greyback drew the child to him, and sniffed, testing the scent in his prey.

“Your daddy works in a Ministry department which is completely dedicated to keeping our kind dead.” Greyback spat in disgust on Lyall Lupin's head, but when he looked up again the awful leer was back. Remus felt himself recoil, and hated himself for wishing he could leave, he hadn’t had that choice when he was five, why should he now? 

“Do you even know what I’m saying?” Greyback asked the child softly, and then harder, with a shake. “Do you even know what I’m saying!?” The only response was a whimper, and Greyback scoffed. It seemed like he was talking a little more for his own benefit now, he knew the cub was too scared to answer. 

“Taking a job like that when he had a little one at home…” Greyback trailed off, attention back on his captive. He brought the child closer to his face, and sniffed again, closing his eyes like a chef taking the first smell of a dish they created. When he opened his mouth his teeth were long and filed into sharp points. Remus watched, rooted to the spot as a scream was abruptly bitten off. The doctors had told him he had been lucky to survive the bite, but to this day Remus was sure something had died with his parents that night. 

He woke with a start, sweating and shaking, legs twisted in his sheets and his mind foggy with panic. It took several seconds of staring through the gloom of night to realise he was in his dorm still, and that his friends were snoring away, everyone was safe. Remus sank back down into his bed, and untangled himself. He was still shaky but his breathing was slowing, and he made a mental note to ask Madam Pomfrey for a sleeping draught.

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you thought! Any kind of feedback makes me smile


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